‘Ignore this’: Jonathan Franzen’s top 10 writing tips get gleefully trolled on Twitter

Several authors hit back at the American novelist, questioning his logic and issuing their own mock advice

American novelist Jonathan Franzen has drawn the ire of fellow writers, who are mercilessly trolling him following an article in which he lists his 10 writing rules for aspiring novelists.

No stranger to controversy, Franzen often ends up in public spats after media tours for his new books. His most famous was in 2011, when he derided Oprah’s book club following her selection of his novel The Corrections – after which Oprah disinvited Franzen from appearing on her show.

Related: Jonathan Franzen: 'Climate change isn't only reason for bird decline'

6. characters poop plot
7. maybe try saying something more than just what's just on the page, like, a lot of story is unseen
8. writing advice is bullshit; bullshit can fertilize
9. eat bees?
10a. fuck, I dunno, nobody knows what the hell they're doing
10b. have you tried napping

hold on does jonathan franzen hate the library pic.twitter.com/vclzGsZnr6

brb texting my friends jonathan franzen's writing tips without context

say what you will about Jonathan Franzen but he's great at getting everyone on Twitter to talk about him without actually being on Twitter, meaning he is better at Twitter than any of us

I am delighted to tell you I have broken every single one of these rules. https://t.co/9eX6WJw4ZP

My 7 rules for book writing
1. Spelling
2. Have a Frankenstein in it
3. Do not talk about Book Writing
4. Do not talk about Book Writing
5. It should take place on a boat
6. A scene where a guy splits a bullet in half with a sword
7. Have a nice plant on your writing desk

ten writing rules
1. find exactly the right place to sit
2. better get coffee also
3. turn off the internet we're WRITING
4. but i have a question only the internet can answer
5. more coffee!
6. maybe i got an important email
7. how is the coffee shop closing
8. oh no

Jonathan Franzen’s rules for novelists are all really ordinary and what you’d expect. Except for this one. Kafka was not a beetle. Can confirm. pic.twitter.com/xcA9vgOgRV

My Franzen tweet actually reads insanely arrogant. Which is embarrassing, because who the fuck am I? Apologies.

Jonathan Franzen hates Twitter because they've trapped one of his precious birds in their logo

I like that Jonathan Franzen is such a reviled figure in letters that he can trend in the United States just for writing an article that's like "do not use adverbs" and "challenge yourself"

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