Knoll’s novel Luckiest Girl Alive tells of a woman who was raped as a teenager. In Lena Dunham’s e-newsletter, the author reveals she shared a similar trauma
Jessica Knoll, the American author of the New York Times bestselling novel Luckiest Girl Alive, has published an online essay revealing that the rape suffered by the protagonist, TifAni FaNellis (Ani), was based on a gang-rape she survived when she was 15.
Related: Lena Dunham's newsletter is a victory for the letter-writing renaissance
It means I know what it’s like to not belong, I waffle in response to readers, usually women whose albatrosses I can sense, just as they sense mine. What I don’t add: I know what it’s like to shut down and power through, to have no other choice than to pretend to be OK. I am a savant of survivor mode.
My anger is carbon monoxide, binding to pain, humiliation, and hurt, rendering them powerless. You would never know when you met me how angry I am. Like Ani, I sometimes feel like a wind-up doll. Turn my key and I will tell you what you want to hear. I will smile on cue. My anger is odorless, colorless, and tasteless. It’s completely toxic.
For 17 years I was too ashamed to share this. Today I am not ashamed. Proud to tell #WhatIKnow https://t.co/m2HFDgfIAz
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