It's All About Perspective

As of Valentine's Day weekend, I'm a published author.

There are many reasons why a serious writer should seek to become published and for me the top reason was to add legitimacy. I prefer to set rather significant goals for myself so I wasn't content with not being published. And through that process I learned so much about the writing method that all the agony I went through was worth it. My biggest lesson was probably about perspective and now these lessons seem elementary, yet when I embarked on this novel, I was certain I had the whole thing under control.



So allow me to demonstrate. In this scene, my lead female character, Amy Sommers, is prompting her five-year-old daughter not to push her budding relationship with the lead character, Chef Nick St. Germaine. Paige sees Nick as a potential father figure and she's trying to hasten the relationship between her mom and Nick. Amy has brought Paige into the ladies' room for a lecture on decorum and she doesn't realize Paige has made a promise while crossing her fingers behind her back:

"Oh, I know, sweetheart. Listen. I really like Chef Nick, but little girls shouldn't be asking grown men to come over and cook breakfast. It is just not proper, so Paige, darling, I need you to promise not to talk about that anymore. Pretty please?"

"Yes, Mommy." Paige twisted her hands behind her back then crossed her fingers.

Do you see the problem? Actually there's several. First of all, a writer should show action through conversation of the characters. Show me, don't tell me. Make the plot come alive through the characters, not through the author's instructions, e.g., Veronica sat down. She saw the bomb under Duke's chair. The fuse was burning.

Instead, move the pace along through your character's interaction and conversation: "Holy crap, Duke!" Screamed Veronica. "There's a bomb under your chair!"

And this brings us to perspective. When a scene contains multiple characters, it's very easy to muddy the waters and lose track of who's speaking, thereby confusing the reader. Line breaks, paragraph changes, and action tags all help the reader, and author, keep track of everyone. But just because you can stage a conversation with multiple characters doesn't mean you should. The reader has to have a positive experience, otherwise they're not coming back. Now let's get back to Amy Sommers and little Paige and take a look at the edited version, courtesy the confident hand of editor Sherry Foley:

"Oh, I know, sweetheart. Listen. I really like Chef Nick, but little girls shouldn't be asking grown men to come over and cook breakfast. It is just not proper, so Paige, darling, I need you to promise not to talk about that anymore. Pretty please?"

"Yes, Mommy."

"Paige? Are you crossing your fingers?"

Paige's eyes popped open and she stuck her hands out. "No ma'am. See?"

Much better, isn't it? In the first version, how does the reader find out that Paige has her fingers crossed? Unfortunately, the author tells you. If there's action in a novel, the reader should find out from the characters, not from the author. And although it may seem harmless, misplaced perspective will lessen the reader's experience.

So if I need to blame anyone for being tortured by the editing process, I'll look in the mirror. And if you'd like to hear the rest of Paige's story, my novel is available right here.

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