Life, in all reality, is a balancing act -- a balancing act of depravity and morality, of your needs and the needs of others, of humor and solemnity, of individuality and commonality, of privacy and disclosure, and the list stretches on for an eternity. I am well aware, though, that everything in life is relative; one person's misery may be another one's joy. I find that it is far easier to recognize that my life is a balancing act than to actually balance it successfully.
I will admit that as a child I loved happy endings in books, but I cannot pinpoint the precise reason why. Perhaps, it was a never-ending search for my sense of reality; maybe, it solidified my childish sense of hope in the world; maybe, it was as simple as the fact that these endings made me feel content. When a character did something that I judged to be immoral, I would be left feeling angry, whilst also creating alternative scenarios to appease my young, conflicted state of mind. When a well-liked character perished, it would linger at the forefront of my mind for days.
Saying all of this; I finished reading a "depressing as they come type of novel" a few days ago, and I absolutely loved it. It did indeed make me feel livid with the despicable decisions that human beings make; it did make me feel miserable as to the deplorable living conditions that continue to prevail across the globe; it did make me feel guilt, hatred, and frustration. So why the hell did I say that I loved the novel? I said this because I have gained an appreciation for depressing endings -- an appreciation for reality, for sorrow, and for the way the author can make you feel using words alone. I have learned to pull hope and strength from a book with an overwhelming sense of sorrow. I have learned to love books that stretch my mind to new limits. It seems that as we age it is not our emotions that become more complex, but rather we become more aware of the complexity, which can lead to a greater appreciation.
At this age, when reading a book, I do not see a character death as a meaningless way to shock the readers, but rather I pull together different aspects of the novel to explain to myself why that death had to happen. When a character follows through with an immoral decision, I am more apt to recognize it as a form of human weakness. I enjoy novels that require me to delve into the problems that exist across the globe, the novels that require me to think beyond the bubble that I live in, and the novels that encourage me to strive for justice in the world.
After finishing reading this particular novel that I have been talking about, I was leisurely taking a nice, hot shower. I was stewing over the novel a bit, and suddenly it hit me; this right here is a prime example of privilege. There are many people all over the globe that will never experience the simplicity of a hot shower, particularly not those who dwell within the pages of A Fine Balance in the slums of an India embroiled within the caste system. Unfortunately, the problems that are guiding forces for novels exist far beyond the pages that they are written on. This book pushed me to think about my privilege and its relative position in this world. I have the privilege of being white, of being a middle-class citizen, of being able-bodied, and the list continues on and on. Checking one's own privilege is important because it gives a more accurate portrayal of the world. It shows not only the side of oppression, greed, envy, and pride, but also the side of empathy, resilience, hope, and joy. It seems that a lot of people have trouble to admitting to their privilege because privilege is often associated with guilt, which it both should and should not be. It is important not to shy away from the feeling of guilt, but there should be no shame in being who you are as long as you recognize how that affects others. It is important to check your own privilege, but never do you have the right to check the privilege of those around you because you do not know them, so how can you possibly judge them within context.
For me, expanding my awareness has a lot to do with striving for justice. There is, however, quite a bit of discrepancy between law and justice. The law claims to uphold justice, but it would only take a brief glance through history to realize that this is not always true.
"The Law is a grim, unsmiling thing. Not Justice, though. Justice is witty and whimsical and kind and caring." -Rohinton Mistry
I personally like to think of justice as law with a conscience. Justice cannot be achieved without full awareness of the happenings across the world, whether these happenings are entwined with love or hatred.
I see that it is a tragic occurrence for one to shy away from endings that are not happy; there is both happiness and sadness in the world, so if you choose to shy away from sad endings, you choose to shy away from one half of reality. Some say ignorance is bliss, but I believe this to be one of the biggest fallacies yet to exist. Accepting the grief in the world does not mean rejecting the joy; it more accurately represents the search for harmony. As Rohinton Mistry said, "If there was an abundance of misery in the world, there was also sufficient joy, yes -- as long as one knew where to look for it."
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