Halloween costumes are often based on the occult or supernatural. But if you're a rational scientist type, there are still many scary things you can dress as that are even more terrifying because they're real
Halloween is upon us. But what if you're someone who has dedicated their life to science? Halloween typically means dressing up as something "scary", and almost everyone interprets this as something with supernatural, paranormal or just flat-out impossible origins. So what is a rational scientist type, who lives in the real world and doesn't believe in anything without empirical evidence, to do? You want to join in the scary fun, but can't be seen to encourage unscientific things.
Don't worry though; there are still plenty of things from the world of science that you can dress up as that are fun, interesting and genuinely terrifying as they really are out there.
MRSA
When it comes to scary monsters, they don't come much more terrifying than a monster that is immune to every defence we humans have. Who says it has to be some macroscopic slobbering beast? MRSA, or methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus to give it its full title, combines all the properties of the classic Halloween horrors; you don't see it coming, it strikes down innocent victims, it has few weaknesses, it is often associated with oozing flesh, it cannot be reasoned with. Your only options are to run, hide or observe very high standards of hand-washing and hygiene.
The outfit is simple; just attach a few bunches of grapes or coloured tennis balls to an everyday garment to get that authentic Staphylococcus look. For added effect, get some friends to occasionally throw penicillin at you while you laugh manically as you remain unharmed by this feeble attack, truly emphasising the horrors of antibiotic resistance.
Entropy
What could be scarier than the thing that stalks all aspects of life at all times, and may in the end effectively kill the whole universe? Yes, entropy has many definitions and descriptions, but basically means the unavailability of energy, order or the fundamental properties generally required for life to exist and things to happen. The second law of thermodynamics states that in a closed system entropy can only increase, and despite its scale the universe itself is a closed system. You have nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, in all of creation; entropy will get you in the end!
Demonstrate this in costume form by wearing any garments you like, but slowly unravelling them as the night progresses, until you're eventually left, cold and alone, with nothing but a mass of useless thread and memories of how things were.
Cotard Delusion
Many Halloween costumes portray individuals or creatures that have died in some way. Ghosts, vampires, zombies, all of these are individuals who have experienced death but overcome it or cheated it somehow. But why not flip this dynamic and bring awareness to an unsettling and strange mental condition by dressing as the Cotard Delusion, a condition where sufferers become disengaged with reality and their own bodies to the extent that they believe they have died.
Dressing up as someone with a mental condition for Halloween is a "questionable" approach, but this doesn't even require a specific outfit. Just dress normally, but whenever someone asks how you are just say "I'm dead". This is guaranteed to unnerve people more than any amount of fake blood.
Vampire squid
Vampires are a staple of Halloween, despite their being almost done to death (no pun intended) these days. So why not put a new scientific spin on this most hoary of Halloween clichés and go as a vampire squid, only known member of the order Vampyromorphida. The vampire squid from hell (that's genuinely its scientific name) is a sort of half-octopus, half-squid with blood-red skin and fang-like spines all along its tentacles.
By taking a typical vampire costume and adding spiky tentacles, a beak, fins and massive eyes, you're sure to terrify unsuspecting friends and strangers alike. You'll be lucky to last two minutes out of your house before a mob armed with torches and pitchforks is chasing you just on principle.
Peer review
Imagine you spend weeks, months, even years working on a costume. It is your everything; your life revolves around it. But before you can wear it, it has to be approved by strangers who just happen to be working on similar costumes. Could you handle the stress, the fear, the anticipation, of knowing that your work could all be for naught if it doesn't meet the uncertain standards of an unknown individual? What if you have no choice?
Convey this in costume form by wearing any typical Halloween outfit but attaching countless notes to it showing where it needs to be improved, like "I don't see how this outfit is sufficiently different to other zombie costumes", "This vampire suit doesn't incorporate the well-known design introduced in 1987", or "the maker needs to establish that this sewing technique can be replicated". This is the true terror of peer review.
Transhumanism
Frankenstein's monster is arguably the iconic Halloween character most closely associated with science, in that it was created by Dr Victor Frankenstein, the most famous "mad scientist" of them all. The monster is an attempt to rebuild a working human using science and technology. It didn't really work the first time, but science is often about repeating and refining something until it does.
Transhumanism is a philosophy and movement that supports and encourages the improvement of the human form by technological means. Some say this is inevitable, some say this is the greatest threat to humanity. Could it turn us all into super-beings, or into the Borg?
Turn up at Halloween events wearing glasses, earrings, designer shoes, a Bluetooth headset with MP3 players, smartphone and tablet. If anyone asks you why you aren't wearing a costume, it's already too late.
Funding cuts
Those who experience the horror of peer review (discussed above) can sometimes be considered the lucky ones. Often, especially these days, a scientist may not get to even finish their work before it all comes to a halt due to funding cuts. The knife-edge existence of trying to complete elaborate, long-term experiments in a time of unknown financial stability has taken years off the lives of more than a few scientists due to stress alone.
Convey this bleak existence in costume form by doing your best to create an elaborate and impressive outfit but on a very limited budget, then turning up at a party wearing a set of sparkly shoes, or a complex, suggestive shirt or top. And nothing else.
Dean Burnett is aware that some of these suggestions are niche references that scare scientists in particular, but feel free to point it out to him on Twitter, @garwboy
0 comments:
Post a Comment