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The transfer window – in poetry

Written By Unknown on Tuesday, August 27, 2013 | 12:33 PM

There was a young player called Bale

Who was part of a long transfer tale

Our readers got bored

And sent poems by the hoard

So here is the best of their mail

Transfer window limericks from our esteemed readers


keef1980

There once were three players, all flighty

One Welsh, one Scouse and one bitey

I've read the stories all summer

It'll be quite a bummer

If all three of them are staying in Blighty

PeterBeech

There was a young striker called Rooney

Whose prospects at United were gloomy

When Chelsea came calling

The match was appalling

And he said, 'Mou, I'm staying, so sue me'

BlueHazard

There once was a boy named Bale

Who wanted to force a sale

He was lame and greedy

And came up against Levy

And it all ended in epic fail

GhostWiper

There was a young man called Willian

Who is one greedy Brazilian

He took Spurs for a ride

Now he's on Jose's side

Even though he's not worth 30 million

pabloelbrujo

There was once a manager called José

Into others' transfer business he was nosey

Spurs thought they got Willian

Weekly wage over a hundred grand

But it was Chelsea that he did chosey

lancaster43

Man United will not take a no

But Everton won't let them go

One side says stop being funny

You'll have to come back with more money

All this for the mod and the 'fro

cantthinkofagoodname

Spurs were interested in Willian

He is very skillful Brazilian

At the last minute they were outbid

Making Daniel Levy extremely livid

Gazumped by a couple of million

GhostWiper

There was a young man called Bale

Who definitely isn't for sale

Unless Spurs can sign Mata

And then it won't matter

That Gareth's off to Madrid where he'll fail

Hank_Scorpio

Really should do some work soon

Instead I'm hearing the same old gossip tune

Will Wayne be wearing blue?

If he's staying put, it's true

They may look closer to Cameroon

ReyLuis

There once was a Scotsman named Moyes

Who was unable to purchase new toys

The interviews he takes

And the bids that he makes

Make United look like a bunch of schoolboys

massivebumwizard4545

I've listened: and all the sounds I heard

Were music, —wind, and stream, and bird.

With youth who sang from hill to hill...

...something about Gareth Bale.

Processedpea

The was a young man named Bale

Who thought he was for sale

But no one would buy him...

(Work in progress)

Lushattic

The transfer of young Gareth Bale

Is much like the search for the grail

it remains out of reach

but the journalists bleach

at the thought that there might be no sale

GhostWiper

There once was an old man called Arsène

Who thought he knew how to bargain

But his tactics were poor

Now he won't be top four

He should never have released Arshaven

*only works if you pronounce Arshavin a little bit wrong.

wilsbowski

There once was a man called Jim White

Who took an unhealthy delight

In rumours and speculation

and Sky sources information

But the transfer window really is shite

JohnClarke

There was once a young man called Rooney

Who used to look just like George Clooney

He got sponsored by Mars

And hung around bars

And ended up rather balloony

muswell

This Window is doing my brain in

Was Bale advised to skip training

Will Moyes get Fellaini

Will Wenger sign any

And where will Chelsea fit Wayne in

Ruprict

There was a player called Bale

Who always got Spurs out of Gaol

They'll get a few quid

From the boys at Madrid

And there endeth a tedious tale

RaleighStClair

There is this young fella called Dan

He's Tottingham's bargaining man

He'll sell Bale to Madrid

for a ludicrous bid

When Perez gets a loan off his nan

pabloelbrujo

There once was a poster named Pablo

Who's work rate went from high to low

It was due to live blogs

His career gone to the dogs

And now his sole income is a giro

Ruprict

There was a scamp called Luis

Who makes RedandProud go all gooey

He liked to snack

On Chelsea's right back

But he found him a little too chewy

bornblue

Joe Kinnear wanted to purchase Chris Brunt

"We'll pair him with Tim Krul up front"

When told "please don't mess"

He turned to the press

...you can see where this is going...

And said: "Which one's Pardew? You're a ****"

IgnatiusDuFec

The wandering team from Woolwich

On transfers were sounding quite bullish

But it's all come to nought

As no one's been bought

Arsène's starting to look a bit foolish

JohnClarke

A Team we'll call A made a bid

Of multi-million numbers of quid

Team B in a rage

When Team A built a stage

And now of the story get rid

And some haiku from our very esteemed readers


Magnusson

Summer Bale drifting

Empty stand at Bernabeu

Levy's account waiting

Lushattic

Rooney shows his class

by playing and keeping schtum

Unlike Gareth Bale

Cryogenic

A car window lowers

Beauteous man chatters

A transfer to a new life

Post your poems and reviews in the comments section below


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