What We Left Behind by Robin Talley – review

‘I’d recommend it if you’re looking for a book exploring how relationships can change as people grow up and find out more about themselves’

Toni and Gretchen are the “it” couple of their all-female prep school. They know that they are perfect for each other and everyone else agrees. They had planned to go to Boston together for university to follow Toni’s Harvard dream; however this unravels as Gretchen reveals that she’s been accepted to her dream school in New York. They think that they will make it work but when Toni begins to question her gender identity and Gretchen is left wondering who she is without Toni, their perfect relationship becomes strained. What We Left Behind is a story of two people who must figure out where they fit in each others lives.

This is the first book I’ve read that goes into so much detail about gender identity and still manages to treat it with the utmost sensitivity and respect. I don’t know how much experience Robin Talley has with the trans and genderqueer community but her level of understanding and clarity is astounding. Toni goes through a journey of meeting people with similar experiences questioning their gender identity – some have fully transitioned, others are taking hormones and some are beginning to come out to their parents. Toni herself is figuring out how she feels about pronouns and the gender binary. I finished the book with a much broader perspective on some of the issues genderqueer and trans people face, such as being misgendered and struggling to find gender neutral toilets. This made it so much more interesting and unique as there really aren’t that many books that talk about gender issues in this much detail, though I hope this will change soon.

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