14 Signs That You're A Prep

What is this persona called "preppy"? Lisa Birnbach summed it up in 1980 with "The Preppy Handbook," and for a while being preppy was really, truly hip. Indeed, somehow it was cool to wear layers, Lacoste, and beat-up L.L. Bean sweaters. We wore Duck taped Sperry's, and many of us did not know why. (In reality you tape up your Sperry sole when it blows out.) Heck, it was the years of Reagan, the economy was terrific and money kind of grew on trees. While the Prep craze of the big 80s (and Reganomics) has long since passed, preps are everywhere. Preps live life a certain way, and follow certain tribal rituals. A few include: 1. A martini is made with gin. If vodka is being poured into a martini glass with an olive and a hint of vermouth, well, that is called a Vodka Martini. If you are pouring Chambord, vanilla vodka, pineapple juice into a martini glass you are having a vodka cocktail, not a martini, so please, don't ask for a French Martini. It just isn't right, Buffy. 2. A frayed collar on your polo shirt is acceptable at the yacht club. It must be avoided on the golf course. Sailors pop their collars to avoid a sun burn on the neck. Tennis players and golfers do the same. However, there is something acceptable about a beat up frayed collar at the yacht club. It tells the tales of summers at sea. On the golf course, the shirt is crisp, the collar flawless and the shirt carefully tucked in. 3. Skip all these crazy logos appearing on clothing and accessories (Dear Coach, please take note. And Mr. Lauren, please shrink the polo player back to an appropriate size.) Among the favorite logos are Brooks Brothers' Golden Fleece; Lacoste's little famous crocodile; Thomas Pink's cute fox, Vineyard Vines cheery whale, and of course the palm tree that says Lilly. 4. Travel frequently. Classic destinations include: Bermuda, St. Bart's, Bar Harbor, Camden, Martha's Vineyard, Nantucket, Chatham, Newport, Palm Beach and Amelia Island. Aspen, Vermont, and Chamonix are perfect for a ski trip. Choose St. Moritz if life is perfect. 5. Thank you notes are hand-written. Invitations are mailed and the favor of a reply is presumed. When socializing choose to hold a cocktail rather than an Iphone. And, when dining, make sure to pick up asparagus spears with your fingers. No knife or fork is needed. 6. Always serve tea sandwiches sans crusts. Afternoon tea is high-brow and high tea is low-brow. Why? High tea was basically a replacement for dinner for the hired help. In other words, high tea is downstairs, afternoon tea is very upstairs. Oh and yes, watch Downton Abbey. Do not watch the real housewives of anything, not even once. Please, have no idea who these people are and do not care. 7. Dogs are preppy, cats are not. Preppy dogs do not hang out in bags. Nope. Not even a vintage Dooney and Bourke bag. Usually, they are too big (the dogs, not the bags). If they are small, they are scrappy. They are never dressed in silly outfits or collars with rhinestones (needlepoint collars are swell, leashes even better). Have a life preserver for them, so they can join on a sail. And, admittedly once in a while put your Ray Bans on them for a quick chuckle. They are often named after a cocktail, and many a prep has been known to slip a pup a sip or two of beer. 8. Indeed, don't wear white before Memorial Day or after Labor Day unless you are in a very warm climate. (A crisp white shirt does not count, however). Dirty bucks can be worn all year, white bucks follow the white rule. The same, sadly holds true for seersucker and linen. Push Madras from Spring through mid-fall. 9. Monogram when possible: often in script. You need three initials to make a monogram (your last name is the large one in the center). If you don't have a middle initial feel free to make it up. Things you must monogram: stationary, a signet ring, LL bean tote bag, towels, the cuff of your oxford cloth shirt. 10. Don't be offended if your friend checks the fabric content on your gift before it comes out of the box or is remotely unfolded. Acceptable fabrics include: cashmere, merino, worsted, cotton, silk and linen. That is all. 11. Follow Emily Post's rule and send a wedding gift after the wedding, in accordance with tradition, up to a year after the event. Do not show up with an envelope, nor mail one. Look at the register, then order something silver and monogrammed from Tiffany that is useless, yet would sit nicely on the buffet table. 12. Be sporty. Crew, tennis, golf, sailing, rugby, polo, squash, field hockey, paddle tennis, and skiing are terrific. 13. And, be a spectator if not a participant: The Veuve Cliquot Polo Classic, The Mackinac Race, The Hunt, The Derby, Wimbledon, Saratoga. 14. And, of course, act as if all these things are tradition, not rules to be followed. Christine E. Nunn is the author of THE PREPPY COOKBOOK: Classic Recipes for the Modern Prep.